28 Aug

4 Pillars of Presence: Part 4

Pillar of Presence 4:

Present, Receive Others Seeing You

Humbly receive the seeing. Openly receive the attention and the connection to others that allows you to be present and have presence. This is one of the hardest steps. It is a move deeper and more vulnerable than the allowing of step one. If we stop at Pillar 3, People: Seeing Others, we can get stuck in Human Resting Face – an intense outward energy.  We are seeing others, but without the reciprocal energy of receiving others seeing us, we can create a wall around ourselves that does not allow the power of our presence to move freely. Receiving others softens our gaze, creates a transparency and a real sense of being present.

So HOW do we open ourselves to receive others seeing us?

Receive people seeing you. Embrace the comfort and awkwardness of the situation. This allows those seeing you to feel more comfortable looking at you. This is similar to the first Pillar, Position: Allow Yourself To Be Seen, but it is deeper than just being seen. It is an acceptance of the gaze, an acknowledgment of the other person, and an invitation to be present. Hold the space for people seeing you. This is the tricky one. Presence is created by both seeing and being seen. Arrogance is often felt from those who want to be seen because they don’t really let you see who they are, and they spend no time seeing you beyond the surface. For this pillar, we suggest being vulnerable and open – and receiving.  If we stop on Pillar 3, People: See Others, we are often perceived as harsh and/or having Resting Human Face. We want to move beyond.  Exhale and breathe in deeply. This helps us to be open and receive. Be brave and vulnerable, and vulnerably brave. 

Conclusion

So, presence – Yes, you do know it when you see it and experience it. The truly great leaders and connectors in our world have allowed themselves to be seen while seeing others. There is neither pretending, nor hiding the fullness of who they are.  Their presence is seen, felt, and experienced by all of us when they enter and leave the room. You can be too!

Be present. Choose to be seen and to see. 

Why? Well, that’s for next blog.

elevate executive presence

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Hilary Blair
Hilary Blair is founder, CEO and lead coach at ARTiculate: Real&Clear, a communications company which has grown exponentially since its inception. She is an active member of NSA and is on the board of the Colorado Chapter. She is a former board member of VASTA – the Voice and Speech Trainers Association. She is on faculty for the Denver Center for the Performing Arts and has been adjunct faculty for a number of universities. Hilary holds an MFA in acting from the National Theatre Conservatory and a BA from Yale University.

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