‘Tis the season of challenging communication.
We’re tired and running from party to party, planning for the new year, and then we add family and intense business discussions as we strategize for better outcomes…
A quick reminder: Communicate with kindness.
Naughty or nice? How about kind?
We know about kind. There’s so much written on it —
And then at the holidays we get all about naughty or nice.
Seems innocent enough – it’s in a children’s poem after all.
It’s just words –
Words matter – how you talk to yourself and others matters.
The tone you use with yourself and others matters.
Be courageous – be kind.
Nice is about you,
Kind is about the other.
If someone has eggnog on their shirt, do you tell them? Or do you find yourself saying, “oh goodness, I wouldn’t want them to feel embarrassed,” or “I’d feel badly.” That’s being nice: nicely ignoring something that would be better for the other to know in the long run. But isn’t it polite? Oh, that tricky “polite” excuse.
How do you feel when you leave a holiday gathering and realize that the whole time, you were buttoned incorrectly, or had lipstick on your teeth, or had been telling a joke that the host didn’t appreciate, and no one said anything? And these are surface things. What if you offended someone, and instead of having a real, kind, caring conversation, they walked away holding resentment or even anger about it?
If you find yourself excusing your action or inaction as being more polite, or not embarrassing to the other person, you might simply be taking the nice road out.
Nice can be surface, glossy, easy.
Kind often drops in more deeply, vulnerably, and it takes courage.
Be kind – it’s as simple and as hard as that.
Quick end of year–holiday-socializing-business-family reminder:
Communicate kindly to yourself and others.
Call on courageous and heart-centered kindness in your communication.
2019 will be better for it.