It matters what you look like. To say that it doesn’t is simply a waste of breath in an argument. Maybe it shouldn’t – you could argue that – but it does. Day in and day out, we prove this. We reach for the bright, unblemished fruit. We comment on the shiny, new car. And, we look at the handsome and pretty movie stars in awe.
What we look like matters.
Are you trying to sell a house? They tell you to up the curb appeal. Not all prospective buyers can see past the color of door or the need for new paint to the amazing house right in front of them. Colleagues and clients often run into the same challenge with you – why not help them? “Curb appeal” is a phrase used by realtors and communication experts to link how we show up with how well others can see us.
You can choose to work with that knowledge or against it. Show up confident and we’ll often assume competence.
We are a predominantly visual society. You may live by mantras like “don’t judge a book by its cover,” or “beauty is only skin deep,” but many don’t. Use this example — when we are in a bookstore, what most often catches our eye? A book’s color, size, shape, and font. After that captures our attention, only then do we look to see if it is a topic of interest. It is the same with the people in our lives: our initial visual response can dictate our further connection or lack thereof.
Are you dressing towards something or in reaction to and therefore against something? Are you making folks work to understand or “see” you? Or are you guiding them to be able to see what is there? Do you know folks who work hard to make it look like they don’t care? Have you met folks who are against people who worry what they look like? And then judge them for what they look like? The circle of contradiction can get confusing. It all comes back to the fact that it matters what we look like. It impacts how we move in the world and how others see us moving in the world.
Marketing folks get this. Often we judge them as surface or shallow. But are they? Or are they simply able to embrace, without attitude, the fact that as humans, in this day and age, we are mostly about the visuals.
Executive presence is an essential element of our leadership. It is about how we show up. How we appear to others. When you take the stage, do you appear to be an expert? A leader? Do you display confidence and therefore assumed competence? Do you show up as trustworthy and authentic?
Our non-verbal habits and choices impact the next step in interaction with others. Are our hands in our pockets? Do we look down when we speak? Do our non-verbals invite connection? Or challenge? Or are we simply ignored – missed?
If we are a known entity, like a kiwi fruit, we can get away with a prickly outside. We now know that the bright green, sweet, juicy kiwi is just beyond the outside image. But still, you probably know at least one person who admits, “I just can’t get past the brown fuzz.”
What can we do?
- Accept that we initially judge people based on visuals. It’s a fabulous human instinct. Thankfully, we can often move beyond it, but the first impression is key.
- Realize there are a great number of non-verbal signals coming from you that you might not realize. It’s not always about what we mean, but more about how we are received. Ask for feedback – for more information on this, read this article.
- Get a professional image consultant to work with you. They are experts with useful knowledge.
- Enjoy your packaging and let it align with who you are.
- Remember we rarely get a chance to make a second impression.
- Dress to put your best self forward.
We make most of our assumptions based on what we see. It’s why we trust people whose personality aligns with who they are. It’s why, in the non-verbal world, hands behind the back are seen as hiding something and hands under the table while negotiating are seen as not trustworthy. There is great truth to the adage, “what you see is what you get.”
Let everyone who meets you be greeted by the real and best you. Up your curb appeal and craft it wisely.
