Everywhere we turn, noise floods our minds. News alerts ping, the stock market jitters, ads insist we’re not enough, and even our “breaks” are crowded with endless scrolling. That noise doesn’t stay outside — it follows us into Zoom rooms and boardrooms, fogging focus, shortening patience, and feeding the inner critic that hisses, “You’re already behind.” In that state, work life turns reactive instead of innovative.
In my work with leaders, I hear overwhelm showing up in countless ways. One executive described moving straight from back-to-back Zoom meetings, juggling Slack pings, and a flood of emails in between. There was never a pause, never a reset. The result? Everything felt urgent, and he noticed other leaders growing edgy as well.
Another believed her stress was hidden behind the Zoom screen — that people couldn’t really read her energy on Zoom. Yet a peer later admitted it was obvious: the person let her know that she came across as tight, non-engaging, carrying a heavy energy. What she thought was invisible was, in fact, noticeable tension and overwhelm to her peer.
Other leaders have admitted to hiding from their organization what’s really going on for them. They feel the pressure to show up as if everything is under control — steady, confident, and always inspiring the team with vision. As one said, “We can’t let them see that we’re also tired, like they are.” And, that constant masking only adds another layer of overwhelm, for them and for their team around them.
Overwhelm hijacks how we show up. Neurologically, your stress response pulls energy away from the prefrontal cortex, making it harder to focus, prioritize, and regulate emotion.
In practice, here’s how that looks for leaders and other teammates:
- Reactivity instead of reflection: The amygdala, otherwise known as the lizard brain, is on high alert, so small issues create big reactions. People come across short, edgy, or defensive without intending to.
- Decision fatigue: With working memory overloaded, every choice feels heavier. Leadership delays decisions, overcommits just to move things along, or defaults to the safest option instead of the boldest one.
- Heavy or scattered energy: Even when people think they’re masking it, overwhelm leaks through in body language, voice tone, and presence — appearing tight, angry, or drained.
- Inner critic amplification: That internal voice gets louder: “You’re behind. You’re not prepared. You’re letting people down.” Individuals either withdraw or double down on control, both of which create distance with their teams.
When the Inner Critic Gets the Mic
In moments of overwhelm, your inner critic doesn’t whisper — it shouts. One leader shared with me that he was so nervous that in the middle of a key conversation his mind was racing to guess what the next question would be. Instead of being present, he was three steps ahead in his head — and it hijacked his brain in the moment. He lost track of what was going on in the conversation.
That’s the power of the inner critic under stress: it convinced him that he’d only be competent if he anticipated every angle, every challenge. But the cost is steep. And this type of engagement only reinforced his inner voice — that he wasn’t competent enough, prepared enough, good enough. When the loop continues, the inner critic grows stronger with each repetition.
It’s interesting that neuroscience has also shown the converse is true. When the inner critic swings too far in the other direction — inflating confidence instead of undercutting it — people can miss the mark entirely. Flooded with a false sense of certainty, they jump to conclusions, make reactive decisions, and overlook nuance. The same brain circuits that, under stress, feed self- doubt can, under misplaced confidence, drive impulsivity. In both cases, the inner critic hijacks presence — either by keeping individuals small or by pushing them into decisions that lack thoughtfulness.
That’s why the goal isn’t to get rid of the inner critic altogether. Both extremes — the shrinking self-doubt and the puffed-up certainty — pull individuals away from presence. What’s needed is a way to recognize the critic’s voice without letting it dictate the conversation, to acknowledge its influence while choosing a steadier ground from which to lead.
Fruitful Friction® offers you a way out of the loop — not silencing the inner critic nor inflating overconfidence but creating the space to stay in conversation. Space to create and innovate. Space to be in the messy middle where real conversation can happen with other teammates. Fruitful Friction® engages collective perspectives so that innovation doesn’t come from polished certainty nor fearful silence; it comes from individuals willing to pause, reset, and hold space for ideas to spark off each other until traction emerges.
And here’s the shift: when a space for creativity and diverse perspectives is truly allowed, overwhelm often eases. Instead of one leader carrying the full burden, the weight is shared. Instead of reactive urgency, there’s curiosity. Overwhelm shifts when carried together — what feels heavy alone can ignite into a shared spark that fuels energy rather than drains it.
Practices to shift the Overwhelm
If back-to-back meetings are the norm, individuals can’t rely on long breaks to recover. But even a minute between sessions can change everything. A quick nervous system reset moves the inner critic off center stage and brings the individual back into the room with presence. Here are a few simple practices that can be done in less than 60 seconds:
- The Exhale Reset (30–60 seconds): Start with an exhale for a count of 6-7, then inhale for 4. Three cycles signal safety and calm the nervous system.
- Physical State Shift (60 seconds): Stand, shake out hands and shoulders, or walk briskly down the hall. Movement clears stress and resets energy.
- Micro-Grounding (15–30 seconds): Place feet on the floor, notice the chair’s support, and shift awareness to the body. Helps you arrive fully in the room.
- One-Line Intention Reset: Silently name a focus before entering: “I’m here to listen.” or “Clarity first.” Anchors you to purpose over panic.
Extending the Reset to the Team
When a leader arrives grounded, they create permission for others to do the same. Encouraging the team to reset doesn’t require a formal ritual — just small, intentional cues that normalize pausing before diving in. For example:
- Normalize the Pause: Say aloud, “Let’s take a breath before we respond.”
- Invite Intention-Setting: Ask, “What perspective do you want to bring into this conversation?”
- Model Transparency: Share when you’ve done your own reset — “I took a breath before we started, so I could be here with you.”
When teams reset together, the energy in the room changes. The frantic residue of the last meeting clears, making space for people to share diverse perspectives without rushing or shutting down. This is where Fruitful Friction® can thrive: not as overwhelm-fueled strain, but as healthy sparks between engaged, grounded voices. This is when you are ready to explore, discuss, and enter the messy middle. And it’s in that messy middle — that the real creative energy surfaces, sparking ideas and possibilities that can’t emerge any other way.
Closing
When overwhelm presses in, the temptation is to power through, polish up, and steer clear of the mess. But true leadership — the kind that sparks innovation — asks us to do the counterintuitive: to pause, to reset, and to step into the very conversations that feel uncertain or unfinished. That’s where traction builds, ideas collide, and progress begins. Reach out to learn more about how you and your team can enter the messy middle and transform overwhelm into Fruitful Friction.®
If you want to learn more check out Fruitful Friction® .
Dr. Robin Miller, PCC is our Executive and Leadership Communication Coach. She specializes in team interpersonal communication and executive communication using the Advanced 360LiC Assessment. Contact ARTiculate: Real & Clear today to learn more.
