It’s the little things we miss that undermine our leadership. Often, one key element overlooked is how our own stories “show up” in the moment-to-moment flow of decisions and choices.
If we’re unaware of our how our stories impact our leadership and communication, we’re less effective and can miss the mark more often than hit it. We walk into meetings and conversations oblivious to the impact that our nuanced body language, voice, and word choices are making on others.
Embodiment of our stories
Noticing embodiment is one step that actively connects our full selves to our lived stories so that our voices, non-verbals, and messages are intentional and powerful.
Our stories live in our body, and they play out in our physical expression. One tool to use to heighten your awareness of the patterns of expression is the archetypes. Archetypes are story patterns that we all live into. Knowing these types provides a tool for our daily awareness and interpersonal interactions.
Each story pattern, otherwise known as archetype, carries its own nuanced use of voice, words, and body language – that’s how we recognize them. There’s an identifiable set of communication cues and clues that are associated with each pattern. Tapping into that information guides us as we notice how we’ve communicated in the past and how we can adjust in the future. Our nuanced shifts improve our communication and relationships.
With a pause we can ask key questions to improve our connection.
- What is the outcome I’m going for in this conversation?
- In reflecting, what did and didn’t work in the past?
- What story patterns/ archetypes can guide my understanding?
- What are the cues and clues that I can be aware of in my communication and choose to adjust?
- How will I have greater impact with an awareness and intentionality of my embodied communication?
I was coaching a leader that was very connected to data-based decisions. Her primary archetype was Sage. Her past had driven her to find solutions driven by numbers, and research. When she was having a difficult conversation with her direct report, her words were based in judgment. These didn’t land well. In fact, her words continuously shut down conversations. Once she noticed this and embraced her Sage patterns, we were able to make shifts through understanding how word choice impacts connection and that other words would move conversations forward more smoothly.
Archetypes as a tool
The Archetypes represent our patterns of behavior. This structure enables us to easily access a framework to hold our observations of ourselves and of those with whom we’re communicating.
A client, Pat, a hero archetype, with strong self-awareness, was struggling with one of his key employees, Jamie. Pat had an ah ha moment when recognizing that his hero behavior retreated when communicating with Jamie. Pat described it as an out of body experience and realized he left most of his essential communication skills by the wayside when communicating with Jamie. Why? To lessen the power dynamic and to not overwhelm. Pat’s attempt to be less of hero and what he thought would be more approachable created an odd disconnect. It placed Jamie on the defensive to protect herself in the conversation.
With the insight, Pat realized that by embodying his hero archetype trust increased and clarity was created in his conversations. When fully embodied, Pat’s voice was full, maybe even a tad loud, and his body language was more open rather than closed off. These choices seem counterintuitive and yet with Pat embodied, physically present and available, open communication was more enabled, and Jamie remained present and engaged in the conversation.
Cues and Clues for Communication Awareness
If embodiment is a fundamental element to building trust, then the exploration of the voice, non-verbal, and message nuanced choices are the keys to unlocking the communication being built on that foundation. Self-awareness permits us to examine how we are communicating. We want to remain in relationship with our audience whether one or many while we assess what’s working about how we’re landing or not landing; how we’re making sense or not making sense; how we’re connecting or not connecting. Can we do this constantly, in all situations? No, that would be exhausting. But we can check in with our own communication style and personal choices when we’re aware things are less than effective and clear.
A helpful awareness is knowing and understanding your primary archetypes. Knowing how they show up in your body can keep you fully present with self and others rather than getting stuck in your head. The stories and patterns connected to the archetypes allow you to remain fully present. When you think about your archetype, whether it’s an Explorer or a Caregiver, you can connect to how this shows up in your body. What does it feel like to claim your whole body as an explorer- feeling it in your feet and shoulders, and in your breath? When you do this, you’re one step closer to being fully embodied and experiencing a flexibility to move between story lines and patterns. You get to choose what’s most authentic and makes the best connection for your relationships and those conversations.
Try this step-by-step process to embody your archetypical combination:
- What are your 3 primary archetypes?
- Allow yourself to imagine what these feel like in your body – for even a fraction of a moment
- Note the patterns of communication most readily associated with each one:
- What voice shows up?
- Where in your body do you feel it?
- What words seem to be connected to these archetypes?
- When you focus on the 3 together, what shifts?
- What does your body do when you tap into and feel the strength of your archetype pattern?
- What happens in your body or with your breath when you’re stressed?
The nuanced changes that happen in your body, in your breath/voice, in your word choices are important to notice and make note of. The archetypes provide a familiar structure to guide your reflection and insight into your habitual communication choices.
Leadership communication choices
Embodiment of our communication choices, identified through our primary archetype patterns, are expressed through our body movement language, and voice.
It’s not that we become this or that archetype. We are expressions of the patterns in unique combinations.
We express our patterns in our communication. “I have explorer patterns” is different from “I’m an explorer”. You’re not a hero but have heroic patterns of behavior and communication. You’re not a magician but have patterns of magic and wonder that reveal how you both express and view your daily interactions. This distinction is important to enable the archetypes to be a useful tool and framework to free us to connect more efficiently and not become trapped in communication patterns that get in our way.
The embodiment of archetypical features and communication techniques lets us explore the nuanced elements of being a human being. The construct allows for more fun and creative expressions because we’re not pigeonholed or limited to what we think a CEO or team leader should be. Instead, we’re our unique combination expressed through the role or job we have.
Communication is challenging in the best of circumstances. Embracing our own unique style through embodiment and the cues and clues of our various archetypes allows us to remain in relationship more easily and effectively, connecting and moving forward.
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded, actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach. Contact us today to learn more.
