Judgment-free sounds good. And that’s precisely why it’s a dangerous phrase.
A call for a judgment-free zone challenges one of our inherent human, and leadership skills, and tendencies – to assess. In fact, every choice we make requires, at its core, a judgment. While “judgment-free” might sound like a plea to refrain from critiquing others’ perspectives, it actually asks us to turn off an essential function of who we are as human beings. It asks us to suspend forming any opinions of our own.
Contact Articulate: Real & Clear today.
The impact of this is that we may stop seeing or connecting with each other to follow the directive of judgment-free.
Contrary to popular belief, judgment doesn’t exclusively imply an unfavorable verdict. We’ve come to associate judgment with pointing out flaws or errors. When, in fact, judgment represents our ability to draw sensible conclusions from our assessments.
We wouldn’t suggest that our teens go out and experience “the big party” judgment-free. We ask them to use good judgment skills. In this instance, we acknowledge that there is such a thing as using judgment for good and that it’s a human quality we must intentionally exercise.
Words Matter in Leadership Communication
Words create worlds. It is an age-old quote that reminds us of the impact of individual responses to words and phrases. With this in mind, some folks have suggested using “discernment” instead of judgment. The word discernment may land differently on others or create a different energy than judgment. Words create worlds.
Interestingly, the definition of discernment is to “use good judgment.” And yet, discernment often elicits a less invasive response. To this point, I’ve had some clients note that they more clearly consider their opinions in a given situation because the word discernment invites a deeper self-awareness. And perhaps they are. Perhaps more compassion and awareness are evoked in using the word discernment. We are not, in fact, judging less, but we are experiencing it differently.
Our innate ability to judge situations—assessing safety, deciding what works for us, and discerning the nature of events—is among our most essential human tools. Instead of suppressing or dodging this, why not acknowledge our judgments while remaining open to the possibility that our initial impressions might be inaccurate or shift? We can challenge ourselves to question if we may be influenced by specific personal or cultural elements that impact and change our response. One leader I was working with realized he had a set idea of what his team should wear. He shared that he wouldn’t recognize that “judgment” was taking place if I had asked him. He paused when he felt a response, got curious about himself, and came up against an outdated expectation. Once he saw it, he could release it, and his interactions with his team shifted. Learn more about our leadership coaching programs today.
Invite Self-Awareness
In group settings, inviting awareness vs. suppressing human reactions is usually more helpful. Why not request an approach where we understand that mistakes of judgment are bound to happen and taking responsibility is encouraged? Several excellent foundational tools exist to establish a sense of safety and the agreed boundaries in a space, from group cultures to team alliances. Establishing guidelines at the top of a meeting or session is often where the “judgment-free zone” appears. Instead, let’s call in an awareness. If in a less formal or personal setting, we could state candidly, “I’m aware I might make questionable choices, or we might not agree on the choices I make; please respect them.” At work, we could invite curiosity and offer a challenge to see things from different perspectives.
Although this likely won’t shift the common use of the request for a judgment-free zone, I hope it invites a moment of reflection. When we ask for a judgment-free space, especially in formal settings, we’re genuinely asking for understanding and patience. It’s always easier to cultivate an active behavior than to quash an innate one. For example, while biking, if we hear “Don’t hit the rock, don’t hit the rock,” we tend to hit it. “Judgement-free zone” can often do the same. If I hear the directive so much, I can only focus on how much I’m judging; then, I dive into a negative self-talk of how I’m judging things. As with the rock, we need to focus on the trail instead; the same is true with our internal focus on curiosity. So, let’s strive for heightened awareness, relationship, and kindness to ourselves and others with a shared goal of growth.
The ability to genuinely see, understand, and be present with one another without judgment might be an unrealistic and unhelpful expectation for humans. But we can pivot to heightened self-awareness—a more intentional and mindful approach. After all, turning inward and growing ourselves is an essential leadership tool.
Instead of trying to turn judgment off, let’s encourage ourselves to be leaders and team members who actively practice self-awareness of our judgment while remaining curious and alert to ourselves and others.
Want support to help you get curious?
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded, actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach. Connect with us for 1:1 coaching.
