Executive presence is often a misused term, a tool that, when understood, serves as a powerful connector rather than a cudgel. It is frequently used to measure whether someone does or does not have leadership and/or promotion potential. In my years of teaching, training, speaking, and coaching leaders across various industries on executive presence, I’ve arrived at one clear conclusion: executive presence is about being in a relationship. It’s about being present and committed to connection.
It’s not about what you wear or how you enter a room. These elements—words, body language, posture—are just moves in the dance of connection. The biggest mistake is thinking those moves themselves define executive presence.
Executive Presence in Action
Executive presence is active — an intentional act of staying connected to one or many. It’s like shifting gears; there are different depths of connection depending on the situation. One key to establishing a relationship lies in asking about your communication: What lands? What works? What moves the conversation forward?
On the other hand, what cuts us off? What creates a separation? What causes us to stagnate in our communication?
Too often, we dismiss or refuse the term executive when discussing presence. We wonder whether soft skills are worth the effort, missing out on the actual value and power of connection and conversation. My own journey with executive presence began when I was contracted some 15 years ago to train on it—and, funny enough, I had to look it up!
Drama Teacher Steps into the Business World
As a coach and trainer from a theatre background, my first reaction was: “This feels like stage presence.” In the theatre, stage presence is about commanding the space and aligning your body, voice, and intention. It’s a quality that draws focus and holds the room. Similarly, in the business world, executive presence asks you to take up space, recognizing that this is not for the sake of attention. Instead, it’s about being present in the space to invite others to connect.
Reframing Executive Presence
One of the misconceptions about executive presence is the belief that it’s all about how you appear. That it’s a collection of set factors like you dress a certain way, your facial expression intentionally conveys a specific message, your voice tone is dialed in for effect. For instance, a smile from a leader affects how approachable they seem, making it easier or harder for the team to connect. But it is simply a tool to choose to use or not – a communication specific that one can choose. Using a smile does not give you executive presence. Similarly, the way we dress or speak signals our value and intention, but it’s not what defines executive presence. These dance moves, specific actions/behaviors, are the tools to create our most applicable, unique, and available energy to build connection.
It’s a seemingly subtle or even a missed distinction – the qualities that make up executive presence are not executive presence themselves. How you dress does not define your executive presence – what you wear helps others know the value you bring and step into a relationship with you. A leader on a warehouse floor would activate their executive presence more effectively in steel-toed boots than in dress heels. Discard the outdated notion that executive presence is a suit.
At its heart, executive presence is relational. It’s how you connect with others. It’s about allowing them to see you and you seeing them. Charisma, depending on your definition of the term, can be a part of this equation, but is not the end in and of itself. Charisma tends to be focused on allowing people to see you. Executive Presence’s power lies in also seeing others reciprocally to build connection and relationship.
The Journey to Now
Looking back, I remember the first time I was asked to teach executive presence to a group of business folks. At the time, I knew plenty about how to *show up in theatre but had no idea how that would translate to business. My research and experience led me to realize it’s all the same: How do you show up and stay in a relationship with those around you?
After hundreds of workshops and work with thousands of participants, I can say with confidence that executive presence is not about you; it’s about them. It’s about noticing others, being fully present, and allowing people to feel your presence, interest, and curiosity. When you see them, they feel connected to you.
Executive vs. Leadership Presence
Words matter, and they don’t—at the same time. The term “executive presence” can bother some people, evoking images of old-school, white-male leadership. By expanding the definition, it allows us to see multiple people in the role. Executive presence isn’t reserved for executives; it’s for anyone leading a group.
Some people may prefer “leadership presence” or “personal presence.” Ultimately, they all share presence at their core. Presence—the key to terrific performances on the stage—whether personal, professional, or executive, is about navigating all of the obstacles that hinder us from effectively connecting. It is about navigating from speaking at someone to speaking with them.
Your Dance for Executive Presence
Here’s the beautiful part: There is not a one-size-fits-all approach to executive presence. It’s about your unique dance, made up of the moves that resonate for you—eye contact, body language, tone of voice, attire, posture, and cadence. How do you choreograph your version of presence to forge the best connection with others?
Claiming your expression of executive presence is what we explore in our workshops. We help you discover your most open, inviting, and powerful executive presence, so you can guide more effectively — whether it’s a team of one (yourself) or hundreds. Your individualized expression of executive presence will lead you and your people to the greatest success as both humans and as a company.
Why Bother?
Without executive presence, things fall apart. We lose employees, engagement, and trust. Teams communicate in silos. Leaders isolate themselves behind professional barriers. There’s no psychological safety.
With executive presence, we model connection, building relationships and trust. And we take responsibility. This is about remaining present with your people and navigating the messiness of human interactions with intention. The leaders who do this build powerful, collaborative, and successful teams.
Embrace the Awkward
Let’s be honest – executive presence isn’t always comfortable. It can be awkward and exhausting to remain open, and there are better ways to manage this than putting up walls. Lowering our defensive reflexes and turning our focus toward our boundaries instead of putting up walls allows us to remain connected and claim our presence.
Next Phase: Navigate the Friction
My decade long focus on executive presence has shown me that authentic leadership is about getting comfortable with friction. It’s in the friction, the messy in-between, that we grow. When we remain present through the bumps in the road, we foster fruitful friction©—where ideas are bravely shared, and collaboration is most potent.
Over the years, I’ve found the most exciting work in this messy, —the powerful space between avoiding and attacking. The middle ground is where executive presence shines and we remain in a relationship through challenging conversations and inspiring collaboration. It’s where friction creates pearls, where the rub isn’t a problem—it’s essential to creativity and traction.
So, claim your executive presence. Do the work to remain present in relationships, especially when the going gets tough. Your business—and your people—will thank you.
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach.
Let’s partner on speaking, workshops, and coaching in three main areas:
- Executive Presence – the essential tool for trust and success
- Public Speaking and Presentations – presence and the art of influence
- Fruitful Friction© – navigating tension for creativity, growth, and success
Contact us today to learn more.
