We’d like to believe we don’t judge a book by its cover. We do it constantly, with books, with food, with people. It’s not a character flaw. It’s how the human brain is designed. We see or hear something and immediately build a story to explain it.
Companies know this, which is why so much time goes into packaging design. Authors know it too. You’ve probably seen someone post four book cover options on LinkedIn and ask their network to vote. If we genuinely didn’t judge books by their covers, nobody would bother asking.
The story comes first
Backing up my comment with some research. In a well-known, often-quoted study out of Bordeaux, one week a wine was served in a cheap table-wine bottle. The next week, the same wine was served in a prestigious “Grand Cru” bottle.
The description on the bottle completely dictated the flavor profile descriptions. When eating/drinking from the Grand Cru bottle, experts used terms like “complex, woody, and round”. When drinking from the cheap bottle, they described the exact same liquid as “weak, light, and faulty”.
The visuals and assumed price tag shaped the experience.
We do this with everything, and we do it with each other.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is missing a few steps
I’m not asking you to throw out the advice. It comes from a good place. It ignores the human process. We can’t not judge a book by its cover. The story shows up whether we invite it or not. Telling ourselves to stop goes against how we’re wired, and eliminating that story is nearly impossible.
What is far more doable, and far more human, is to question the story once it’s there. (And yes, I really do offer you three steps, it’s not an AI suggestion.)
- Notice your story. What are you assuming this book is about, based on the cover?
- Check the back cover. Does the blurb back it up?
- Read the book. There is so much more inside than any cover can capture.
The cover is an attempt to entice you to explore what’s inside. It’s designed to do that. It’s the same with people. What we wear, our energy, our expression: all of it is an attempt to tell you who we are and what we have to offer. Even “I’ll just wear what I feel comfortable in” is packaging, because we as humans put story on things we observe. We are always sending a message.
If you’re the one being packaged
How many businesses have rebranded visually? RXBAR is one of my favorites. The bar inside didn’t change. What changed was the front of the package, which now lists the ingredients plainly for everyone to see. Sales went from $7 million to $160 million. There are more details to this story of course, and the packaging was the main shift. Packaging signals what’s inside, and that signal matters.
As we work to make sure our branding tells people what we have to offer, it’s easy to get a little resentful about being judged by our packaging. And honestly, people shouldn’t stop at the packaging. They should find out what’s inside. We are wired to make stories from visuals. Our job, if we choose to accept it, is to help the story get clearer and to give space and grace to the people who read us wrong.
Take the virtual world. How often does a camera off send a different message than a camera on? And once it’s on, how are we showing up in the box? Lighting, framing, posture, energy. Other people are filling in whole stories based on that little rectangle. Pause and ask whether what they’re seeing lines up with what you actually want to say. And then realize people will make stories that still may not even be what you intended.
Yes, this can get exhausting. Can you wear casual clothes once in a while? Absolutely. You could even wear pajamas, theoretically. I often mention that in workshops, “I could have worn my pajamas.” It would likely be a bit of a barrier to the value I’m bringing. I’d have to explain my story of why pajamas and what else is going on. It matters most the first time you meet someone, and less after that. (That’s a whole other blog on first impressions.)
If you’re the one doing the reading
Here’s the “so what.” When you assume you’ve figured out what’s inside the book from its cover, you may miss your star players. You may jump to conclusions about a client based on misconstrued information from their team. You may also find that people have made assumptions about you and your intent based on how you showed up in a single meeting.
I have so many examples of this in my communication training work.
The flip side is good news. When you question your assumptions, you build trust with the people around you, and you get closer to the real value they’re offering, in people and in ideas.
Some of the smallest visuals drive the biggest stories. Take the internal processor who crosses their arms while they think. Our business culture has programmed us to put a whole negative story on that: closed off, disengaged, cold, aloof, no executive presence. Pause. That might simply be how they process on the inside. Or they could be cold.
Now, we’re good at reading people, so sometimes the story is right on. The meticulously groomed new hire? The leader assumed they’d have an eye for detail, and they do. The slightly grumpy team member, day in and day out? They’re highly tuned to what isn’t working as it should. You were right about that too. The only tweak needed was how they share what they see.
At ARTiculate: Real & Clear, we like to say that 90% or 98% of what you’ve decided about someone might be right. It’s the 2% or 10% you got wrong that’s dangerous. I do use that word ‘dangerous’ on purpose because it can have a major impact on that relationship, whether with an employee, colleague, or client. That’s where miscommunication begins. Those of us who are really good at reading people are often the least willing to admit we aren’t always right.
So ask yourself: What story am I telling myself? Then pause and check. We’re not trying to be perfect at reading people; we’re acknowledging that we do.
And here’s what I love about this practice. A leader who says, “I made a story about that, and I’m checking it,” makes it safe for everyone else to do the same. That’s how a team starts to trust each other.
The bigger point about idioms
Some of our most familiar sayings and idioms have good intent and are still missing key steps and key human elements. Don’t judge a book by its cover is kind, well-meaning advice. So keep it, and activate it. Wake up to the fact that we all judge. Notice the story you’ve attached to the cover. Then make the effort to question what you’ve decided.
This isn’t about catching ourselves being terrible. It’s about seeing what we actually do as human beings, and being aware and kind to each other while we do it.
Ready to put this to work?
If you’re leading a team, or you’re the person whose packaging is being read every day, this is exactly the kind of skill we build at ARTiculate: Real & Clear. The team and I, Hilary, offer keynotes on Fruitful Friction® and Executive Presence, workshops, and coaching that give you practical tools to notice your stories, check them, and show up so your value is clear from the first minute.
Come with a real scenario: a team member you can’t quite read, a client interaction that went sideways, a meeting where you know your message didn’t land as intended. We’ll work on it together.
Reach out and let’s talk about what your team needs.
Voice on!
