In theaters and movies around the world right now, actors are jangling chains and older gentlemen are wandering about in pajamas to tell audiences the classic Dickens story published in 1843… A Christmas Carol. Scrooge is the rich old miser who shows no sympathy until 3 ghosts help him find his generosity and kindness.
There’s a reason everyone keeps telling this story.
We really, really need it. We can be stingy with kindness. We can be Scrooge-y in tiny ways we’re not even aware of–with our tone, our word choice, our body language.
I was traveling recently and was struck by the different interactions I had. I noticed those who made equal room for others walking down crowded airport hallways, and I noticed those who kept on walking without a care to sharing the space – even if it meant someone had to move hurriedly out of their path.
Who made eye contact? Even if briefly? Who avoided it?
Maybe you also notice when others block the aisle on airplanes, or conversely, ask if they can help you with your bag. Neither one impacts exit time. But they do impact exit energy.
While traveling, two flight attendants responded similarly with completely different impact.
Flight Attendant A’s response: Oh, I checked on that and you can check on that at the next airport.
Flight Attendant B’s response: You can check on that at the next airport.
Which response do you prefer? The words are only a bit different, and the information I received was the same. One person made an effort on my behalf, and that mattered to me even though both delivered the exact same information.
Because of their tones of voice and word choice, these two flight attendants left me with completely different experiences.
Flight Attendant A’s response: (warm, concerned) Oh, I checked on that and you can check on that at the next airport.
Flight Attendant B’s response: (perfunctory, hurried, this-is-obvious) You can check on that at the next airport.
This tone and word choice impact is everywhere. We can tell the difference when someone asks “do you need anything else?” with a kind and caring tone versus when someone asks the same question, and it’s clear they want reassurance that you don’t need a thing.
My travel experiences crossed ages, ethnicities, genders, heights, hair colors, languages, clothing, air travel employees, fellow travelers — I was stepped on by Scrooge-y little feet and Scrooge-y big feet, trust me. The difference was felt between those who opened up enough to share the journey with others around them and those who had a tone that made it hard to be around them. For me, the first made travel easy and joyful while the second made it draining.
Ask yourself this holiday season…
When am I Scrooge-ing out with my tone, word choice, body language?
Simply, be aware of what you are saying. Let it matter. Think about choosing a kind tone – Add a smile. Warm up your tiniest communications. It’ll cost you nothing and the world will be richer.
(For good-looking and comfy reminders to be kind–since I don’t think 3 ghosts are going to visit you anytime soon–check out begoodtopeople.com … an inspiring business started in response to a rude encounter with a stranger.)
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded, actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach. Contact us today to learn more.
