Increasing self-awareness is a frequently suggested idea to improve leadership/team dynamics, whether you identify as a leader, team member, individual contributor, or simply a human being making your way in the world. At ARTiculate: Real&Clear, we always recommend deepening self-awareness and emphasizing its importance. We’ve said it so often lately that we decided to share why we are deeply committed to this soapbox!
The Power of Self-Awareness
The greater the self-awareness, the more constructive the communication and relationship skills. And, stating the obvious, the opposite is painfully true as well: the less self-aware, the more disastrous the communication and relationships. Think about it—how often have miscommunications spiraled out of control simply because someone wasn’t aware of their own biases, emotional responses, or zones of ignorance?
If you think you might not be self-aware enough, that’s probably the first sign that you are self-aware. The biggest disconnect we experience in our coaching and training is with leaders and executives who think they are self-aware—and are oddly not. It’s the classic case where those with limited knowledge or ability overestimate their own competence.
What Exactly is Self-Awareness?
Leaders need to be in relationships with their teams and clients. The first step is a relationship with oneself. The classic dictionary definition of self-awareness is “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.” But let’s dig deeper.
Amanda Moran from “Understood” shared these three key points:
- Self-awareness is the ability to tune in to your feelings, thoughts, and actions. It’s about understanding your inner landscape.
- Being self-aware also means being able to recognize how other people see you. This is often referred to as external self-awareness.
- Self-aware people recognize their strengths and challenges. They embrace their flaws and work on them rather than hiding from them.
Leaders on Opposite Ends of the Spectrum
I experienced a leader open to continued learning and growth and one who was not. Both were in leadership workshops focused on creating stronger and more authentic relationships with their teams and employees.
First, years back, the CEO, who was about to retire, said to me and to the room filled with his direct reports: “I’m self-aware enough to know I’m not self-aware enough.” This statement showed a remarkable level of humility and openness—of self-awareness. It set a powerful example for his team, promoting a culture of continuous learning and self-improvement.
Second, months ago, I met a newly promoted leader who looked at me with only what I can describe as disdain and said, “We are CEOs. We already know all about how to connect with our teams.” This statement closed the door to growth and self-reflection. It communicated a fixed mindset, potentially stifling innovation and team cohesion.
The first leader set his team up for a mindset of lifelong learning and improvement based on a foundational value that there is always room for greater awareness and improved leadership. The second immediately closed the door on the possibility that there was even more he could learn to improve his leadership. This younger leader was surrounded by an insightful coach and more experienced business owners, and I’m sure he has been challenged to reflect on how he can deepen his learning.
The differentiating factor for most excellent leaders—who lead both their company and their people excellently—is a constant drive to be more self-aware and understand, to seek what they are missing. This curiosity and willingness to grow sets transformative leaders apart from merely competent ones.
Why Bother?
Why do introspection, reflection, and curiosity to increase self-awareness even matter? It lays the foundation for critical leadership and team tools:
- Successfully navigating friction: Understanding your emotional responses helps manage differences constructively before they become conflicts.
- Stronger relationships internally and externally: Transparency, born out of self-awareness, is the cornerstone of meaningful relationships.
- More effective decision-making: Self-aware leaders make better decisions because they are aware of their biases and can think more clearly.
- Excellent communication: Clear, honest, and empathetic communication stems from knowing oneself and understanding others.
Why does it matter? If you think you’ve got it all figured out, you miss the opportunity to evolve. You put up more walls of resistance than of curiosity. For each of us to grow, we must be challenged. Challenge often comes with friction, which is needed to improve things. If you dominate rather than meet the rough waters and differences, you miss the opportunities for co-creation. Challenges can be good—friction can be productive—and yet, friction needs another to push against, to sharpen oneself. Self-awareness provides the skills to stay present and work on the connection.
It matters to be aware of others and how we are or are not connecting or communicating. It requires humbleness and self-compassion to look at oneself and see where one can grow, expand, or make more room for others, and perhaps to change how one does things.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Awareness
If self-awareness is lacking, the impact has a ripple effect from poor emotional regulation, lack of empathy, and inconsistent communication that leads to breakdowns with teams, colleagues, and clients. The lack also often results in overconfidence and resistance to feedback, the two descriptors I immediately felt in the newer leader mentioned earlier.
It’s a Journey, not a Destination
Once we say we are self-aware or claim how self-aware we are, it is the minute we have lost touch with being self-aware. Self-awareness is more of a forward movement than an attained state.
Self-Focus Will Make Me Take My Eye Off the Ball
If it’s so important, how do we make time to pursue and improve amid so many pressing demands in a business world moving faster and faster? The key is integrating self-awareness practices into your daily routine. Simple actions like journaling, seeking feedback, and regular reflection can make a significant difference.
Let’s not confuse being self-aware with being overly self-involved or self-focused. Self-awareness is about understanding and improving oneself in relation to others. It’s about finding a balance between self-reflection and outward focus. It enhances our relationships with ourselves, our teams, and our clients.
Practical Steps to Enhance Self-Awareness
- Seek Feedback: Regularly ask for feedback from peers, mentors, and direct reports. Listen actively and reflect on the insights.
- Reflect Daily: Take a few minutes each day to reflect on your actions, decisions, and interactions. What worked? What could have been better?
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help you stay present and attuned to your internal state.
- Keep a Journal: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide clarity and help track your growth over time.
- Engage in Professional Development: Participate in workshops, training sessions, and coaching to continuously improve your skills and self-awareness.
From the soap box, a final reminder that self-awareness is the foundation of effective leadership and meaningful relationships. It’s not about achieving perfection but about being on a continuous journey of growth and improvement.
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach. Contact us today to learn more.
