You’re not alone. Like many of you, I’ve spent more time out in nature during the past months and I’ve spent more time being anxious or worried. Worried about our futures – uncertain times – the economy – our health – our children – our parents. You name it – it was probably on my list at some point.
It has also pushed me toward understanding my options in dealing with stress. The rumination on what could be hasn’t been healthy and often leaves me in a place of “stuck.” This isn’t a place that feels comfortable. I must choose every day – even though it may be difficult – to move toward resilience. To focus on the things that bring energy – life – thriving – opportunity – possibility.
When we believe that words create worlds, we’re empowered to fuel ourselves with aspirational energy. When we understand that stress has two sides – threat and challenge – we’re empowered to turn the stress into supportive energy. Connecting with your resourcefulness is key to making this shift – from freeze, faint, fight, flight to enthusiastic, energized, and hopeful.
A few years back, I was fortunate enough to hear Dr. Kelly McGonigal give a keynote speech for the Association of Talent Development in San Diego, CA. Her entire career has been dedicated to understanding stress and its role in our lives. While I don’t remember the title of her talk, I left the room remembering a story – a story about choice – one of choosing either the threat response to stress or its counter – the challenge response.
A group of Navy Seal recruits were taken to a pool where their wrists and ankles were bound together. Alone, they were thrown into the deep end of the pool – those in charge watched the recruits as they responded to this potential life-threatening stressful situation. Some of the recruits struggled for air and couldn’t find a way to catch their breath. They fought against the water and the ropes on their wrists and ankles. Being more focused on what was causing their discomfort, they didn’t meet the challenge. They were rescued from the pool. Others were able to connect to their reason and logic. They remained calm. These recruits realized that if they went to the bottom of the pool they could use the bottom to push themselves up to the top for air. Though difficult and exhausting, these recruits were able to maintain the pattern until taken from the pool.
This is the difference between being overwhelmed by stress and being creative with the stress. With the challenge response, we take action. There is a “doing” that takes place. We connect to our resources – people – opportunities – possibility. We make the lemonade from the lemons.
Living in Colorado makes me think about similarities in nature to these different responses. We’re told that when you’re in the forest and you encounter a bear that you need to make yourself small. And when you encounter a mountain lion to make yourself big and make motion and noise. These are very similar to the threat response and challenge response. When our blood vessels constrict with threat it like encountering a bear. We become small – passive – quiet. When we encounter a lion, we make motion – we make noise – we get big. We are consciously choosing action like we need to do when we use stress as a challenge.
So, when we feel the threat response, it isn’t helpful for us to become small like we would when encountering a bear. We need to channel that energy into motion – action – movement.
Our response to stress determines our ultimate destination – connect to your resources – have conversations – look for the lemonade opportunity. And most of all don’t give in nor give up. Keep going to the bottom of the pool and pushing up – you’ll make it to the top. That’s reason – that’s logic – that’s the prefrontal cortex coming to shift the cortisol into an empowering force of energy in your thought process and life.
You are up for the challenge – You’ve got this. Keep moving and focusing on the goal – the destination – the new possibility.
Robin Miller, PhD is an Executive and Leadership Communication Coach. She specializes in executive communication using the Advanced 360LiC Assessment and leadership team interpersonal communication.
