Who’s Changed You?
What coach, teacher, or mentor said something specifically to you, and it changed how you live, work, and move through the world?
From Technique to Transformation
In the arts, in sports, and in leadership, we often start by learning the fundamentals, the forms, the frameworks, and the rules of the game. But actual skill, which carries real impact, demands something deeper: a personal connection to the craft, the courage to show up when it’s hardest, and the ability to stay self-aware when the stakes rise.
As a theatre artist, actor, drama teacher, and athlete, I’ve lived it.
You can memorize the lines and blocking for a scene, nail the free throw drills, and run through every vocal warm-up.
But when you’re live on stage, go into a tiebreaker, or a high-pressure situation robs you of your usual voice, that’s when your individual skill matters..
That’s when coaching isn’t about formulas anymore. It’s about knowing who you are inside the formula.
I can perform Hamlet over and over. It’s the same script, and the individual direction and coaching keep up-leveling my performance.
A better knife does not make me a chef, although it’s nice.
New and improved leadership tools do not make you a better leader.
It’s the right step, yes. Next, commit to the individualized coaching that makes the difference.
Smooth Is Not the Goal
Communication, and particularly executive presence, works the same way.
It’s easy to perform well when everything’s smooth.
But leadership isn’t about everything being smooth. Leadership is about staying present when the moment gets tricky, heated, or uncomfortable, when all your instincts tell you to armor up, shut down, or gloss over.
Executive Presence Is About Relationship
Executive presence isn’t a checklist.
It’s a unique relationship with yourself and with others. Self-awareness is what enables the multiple choices of response when the pressure mounts.
Yes, using the right words, body language, and vocal tone is part of connecting. But they’re just the tools—like the shoes, the costume, the racquet.
The tools alone don’t win the match or move the audience. It’s the skill of using the tools.
The Cost of Skipping the Coaching
And yet, we see it all the time:
Companies invest heavily in tools, formulas, and systems, buying the right programs and handing out the right books. But they skip investing in how their team members actually use them.
Sometimes, it strikes me as buying a better car and not investing in fuel to get it anywhere. It sits in the driveway, useless. Practical, individualized training and coaching are the fuel to move your company.
We run into this time and again:
- Sales teams with top-tier tools, but no one has tailored the activation for the unique individuals.
- Leadership teams are given the latest feedback frameworks. Yet, they are not coached on how they, the individual, use the technique, and there is no individualized guidance on how they, in particular, land and impact those around them when they use the framework.
Organizations hope and count on broad training that introduces new models or formulas to magically “fix” communication challenges across the organization.
It’s like equipping a team with the best gear but sending them into the game without guidance or practice.
Money spent. Tool failure blamed. Potential wasted. Coaching Where It Counts
At ARTiculate: Real&Clear, we know the fundamental shift happens when people receive bespoke coaching that meets them at their specific stuck points.
Clients remind us that the coach’s insight and guidance transform their ability to communicate more clearly and effectively.
We coach individuals not just to perform the actions—but to recognize:
- When the pressure is on,
- When the default walls are going up,
- When staying in relationship matters most.
The Self-Awareness That Fruitful Friction® Demands
And this is especially true in Fruitful Friction®—the messy middle where growth thrives.
When tension surfaces—disagreement, resistance, defensiveness—leaders often instinctively dull their self-awareness. They focus outward: managing others, smoothing things over, and “getting through” the conversation. And they lose their most powerful leadership tool: presence in relationships.
They must practice. They must get feedforward.
Coaching helps leaders:
- Catch themselves mid-spin, before reaction mars the relationship.
- Recognize the early signs of walls going up: tension in the shoulders, clipped tone, defensive phrasing, and justification.
- Re-ground in self-awareness: What am I feeling? How am I showing up? What choice am I making? How am I impacting others?
- Maintain healthy boundaries while staying fully present.
- Lean into Fruitful Friction®—harnessing tension for innovation, trust, and transformation.
Do Better
We’ve all said it or heard it:
“It’s not that I don’t know better. It’s that in the moment, I forget to be better.”
Our spin on that?
I know how to do better. I have the insight to use the tools.
Essential. Foundational.
Coaching isn’t just about knowing. It’s about training self-awareness and presence for the moments when it’s hardest and most needed.
Frameworks Don’t Work Alone
Let’s activate the money you’ve invested.
Frameworks are essential. And most are fabulous.
However, frameworks without individualized coaching often end up gathering dust on a shelf, and we all return to our “pre-model” habits that worked well enough.
Coaching = Catalyst
A key aspect of effective coaching, as highlighted in ARTiculate: Real&Clear’s work—particularly in “Self-Awareness: It’s All It’s Cracked Up to Be!”—is the development of self-awareness.
“The greater the self-awareness, the more constructive the communication and relationship skills.”
A skilled communication coach provides a space for honest reflection.
They offer insights into your communication patterns, biases, and emotional responses.
They help you identify your “walls,” build healthy boundaries, and foster genuine connection.
Just like a theater or sports coach:
- They push you past your comfort zone,
- Help you own your “awkward,”
- And support you through the awkwardness that leads to true growth.
Let’s Move Beyond Formulas
Coaching isn’t a luxury.
It’s the catalyst that turns potential into success and presence into leadership and team connection.
It’s not about perfect communication. It’s about real communication—open, relational, powerful—and uniquely, unapologetically yours.
Move beyond formulas. Communicate ARTfully. Lead Fruitfully.
Ready to Go Deeper?
Contact us for individual and team deep dives so everyone gets the guidance they need to thrive. Let’s make sure your investment in training doesn’t sit in the driveway. We’ll fuel it with coaching that moves your people forward. 303.868.3889 or visit ARTiculateRC.com
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach
