Ask questions. That’s what another client pointed out as the one thing they are taking away from the coaching session.
It’s not a new suggestion or concept.
Be curious.
And yet it’s a bit harder to do than it is to think about doing it.
It seems logical to ask questions when confronted by a concept or idea in a conversation with a client or team member.
But our instinct is usually to explain ourselves, give our side of the issue, point out the facts, etc. We jump in with an explanation.
And almost every time, a little cortisol spikes – in us or in the other in the conversation. Maybe not even a conversation anymore. It’s a sharing of opinions now. One-sided. Back and forth, so it seems like a conversation. It’s not really. No listening. No curiosity.
Asking questions. Asking genuine questions – meaning questions we don’t have an answer. Being truly curious is essential for a conversation.
It gives you time to think. It gives you a chance to listen to where the other is coming from. It gives you a moment to recalibrate your answer to more accurately answer the need.
My clients are continually amazed at how different the conversation is – how different they feel when they ask questions for clarification and insight before they answer.
It’s a positive habit that needs practicing. Practice with friends. – ask a question before you answer them. Use some time with your coach to practice. Get it into your muscle memory, like a few good dance moves, so they flow easily and feel a part of your usual process.
Ask questions – be truly curious. It will change your relationships.
What have you noticed? How does it feel when you ask questions? What shifts?
Ready for more? Let’s connect.
Hilary Blair is a leadership keynote speaker based out of Denver, CO, and is the co-founder of ARTiculate: Real & Clear. She is also a highly regarded, actor, improviser, facilitator, voice-over artist, and voice expert coach.
